Ahhhh...it's good to be back. Gosh I can't stand people. How can they be so ANAL. I hate them.

My roomie's been getting kinda chummy with me but it's like hello....as much as i like t0 bitch with you about out "common enemy", we aren't exactly goof friends gal. I am totally disgusted at some of the stuff you do that you don't happen to be anywhere near my favourite list or whatever!!!

It's like okie...you think both the guys like ya but as far as i know someone has told me that he is not interested...and you bet i didn't tell you, so you can continue thinking what you like. And seriously if you like any one of them just say it, don't need ter pretend and talk in like circles as big as the mexico ones OKIE...argh...cringe! Well if you're waiting for me to validate your insiuations...i'm sorry that is so not happening. damn...damn damn damn.

Oh oh oh....and I don't go around mongering secrets, it grosses me out when you tell me stuff that someone else told you like it's kinda private i would think. What is said in a conversation STAYs in that circle as far as I'm concern...sorry i'm not sharing and definately not trading secrets to fish for friendship and intimacy. I don't need to build friendships like this...argh...i'm so going to tear now...getting sick in the stomach.

And as for guys... i don't forgive and forget that easily...wait slowly i'm still ignoring you. I just like to be mean. As far as my dictionay is concern we are not talkin.  ¶ 1:56 PM 0 comments

  I'm laughing inside now...at myself, figure that gives me internal bleeding or something. The thing is...my main blog has gone to crap now and there is no reason for anyone to be reading it because i don't write anything there anymore. I can't even start on how much that frustrates me. But everything i wanna say now are not for the prying eyes and ears of parents, relatives and semi-close friends. And to doodle on that blog would be just another attempt to please the public. (Gosh! Don't i ever get bored of complaining about the over publicizing of my blog...guess it relly bothers me...i want my blog freedom back!)

So crappy inside now that I feel like a whore. There are so many thoughts that I shouldn't be entertaining. And I need to tell somebody! Get it out of my system. so in that absence, this THING I'm writing now is the best other alternative. I want that easy access to my bestest friend back now. But being like on the other side of the world from her makes that too expensive a luxury than my miserable allowance will allow. So that makes me miserable.

Living away from my parents has reallie been a blast. Slowly becoming an american, all that freedom to do whatever i please, not having to tell anyone what bloody time i'll be back...it's all so great i'm starting to feel like a big fat sinner for exploiting it. First I'm learning how to drive in this scary country without telling my parents, then drinking like idiot, and all those crazy things. But again it's soooo long since i've seen them, my parents and brother, it's just so wierd...on the one hand they are the most important people in my life, on the other I'm getting along fine right now I'm not reallie missing them terribly...i don't know how i got so desensitized. I think i'm starting to change into something i'm remotely afraid of. Am I getting amoral? I don't know, but this certainly feels like it. I scared, i can't even play with my words now, I'm not reallie thinking.

Then there are these boys. I'm obsessively infatuated to a point of stoopidity with one and crazy jelous of another. Maybe I'm just a selfish brat who can't make up her mind, is spiteful, and can't really like anybody in particular.

I wanna get back on track. Work's not going well or else I wouldn't BE in this messed up state I'm in.  ¶ 9:48 PM 0 comments

  A new post on this blog is not a very good sign i guess, it's where all the bad stuff comes. It's like the garbage list. I've gotta have done something naughty or thought something nasty to actually make it here. Well the main blog is too goody two shoes and it stinks up the sky.

So this week i've got a couple of unsavoury stuff too add. Harpos yesterday again. This time i went alone with the koreans and Ben. Not good. I got too stupidly drunk for my own good. When you've so bloated and about to puke you can't open your mouth to talk or do anything else excpet feel miserable, that mean you're over the top man. But silly enough you just keep drinking. Gosh i really felt like it's all coming up at one point of time but got better just standing up and walkin around in the cold outside. haha normaly i wouldn't even go out without my full gear, yesterday i just dashed out in like a shirt, in case i seriously puke inside that's gonna stink, literally.

yeah so we were playing quarters again and i was getting way too much. some stupid ang moh tried to weedle their way into our table and get chummy wif us and wth, i couldn't even think properly, so watever. But what is really not cool is when someone (no names) tried ter get a lil closer than just huggin. And another jerk tried to kiss me in the lift while we were alone. Get off me idiot. Gees, everytime i think about it today i feel my stomach turn a full circle, and i'm not making it up. It just gets me sick. some guys are jerks. i hate those. Luckily i could push the bastard away.(in fact i can still think despite being so coked)

that's that, there are still some pretty clean and decent caucasian guys around. we got pretty well acquainted with some chaps and they all seem like good people. one even offered to send me to work in the morning when i can't get a ride from my colleagues. It stinks to have to car pool everyday cos it's like oweing everybody at the station a favour by the end of it all.

there were some pretty cute guys at the station. ok dun get distracted.

i can't think of a good end...so...that's all folks  ¶ 10:47 PM 0 comments

  gloriest debut piece of crap and bitch I was never this drunk. ok, we went to a bar called Harpos last night, and it's supposed to be like the best thing to do on a Thursday night for the college kids here and like "the place to be". Obviously! the whole town was there that night. We went early so we got a table and all but people were like just standing around in a huge pack talking and drinking. And this place has a cover charge of 3 bucks, wat the hell. Ok at least the cheap beer makes up for everything.

Beer, being the cheapest thing you can find here, cost a (woo hooo) dirt cheap price of 25cent a cup. (only on thurs) So it's like you get a set of 20 for 5 bucks. probably the cheapest place to get wasted. Anyway the way we cleaned it out was plain disgraceful. We did this drinkin game "quarters", (and on retrospect i thought it's kinda apt cos the beer did also cost a quarter) where you bounce a quater on the table and if it ends up in the beer you can sabo anyone to drink that. Stupidest thing i ever heard off, but anyway, this pretty much depleted the beer and me...being all the one to get sabo-ed, took i think abt 5 cups of that stuff, and i was totally goggy after that i had to feel my way along the walls to the loo (no i didn't puke). I was not wasted but that was def a new limit. But at least the worst thing i did was just hug a couple of people, i was quite ok. But def that gave me a wake-up call to like look out for myself. We were wif the Koreans kids and some ang-mohs and they don't exactly seem too decent.

And gosh...Koreans are like so open. they sleep around. that is not particularly a very nice piece of information to hear.

But no hangover. i even got up at 9am cos i think my body's growing a responsible gene. ha!

And it sure beats staying at home. Anything beats staying at home man, and the reason why i was so pissed off the past few days, which i absolutely can't post on my main blog, is cos crys is such a stay-homer. Ok she doesn't drink so i know it's not exactly fun to go to a pub and watch stupid kids get drunk lar but wah lao.... I, ME, and my pathetic soul will die from boredom staring at the same person morning, afternoon and night for 6 months.

It's been a week and i'm starting to get a bit bored already. It's like we go to classes together(sometimes the class only has 2 of us), we eat together, we share a room, we walk to everywhere together. I'm SO DONE WIF IT COS IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU ARE NOT MY BEST FREN OKIE!!

you know it when a person is not your kind and there is only so much you can click on, and there are only certain levels you meet at. I mean i can think of some of my other girlfriends whom i'll rather be with right now cos, wth, they're my kinda people.

ok see i'm a people person, i wanna meet everybody, not just the teachers. We're both quite model student-ish in front of the instructors and that's cool, but other than that it seems she has no interest in meeting anyone else. WAH LAO, what can be worst. Machiam don't wanna meet the local students of the korean people living round us. Like hello we can't just talk to each other you know. And her idea of fun is ter like try out a new restaurant (which we do everyday) and I'm like, what's so fun abt eating, and only 2 of us. ARgh. And then....wah....go home and use internet, so fuckin exciting huh.

And it's also pissing me off cos she does't do any chores pretty much except like packing her own stuff. C'mon you expect me to cook for both of us and then do the dishes also. Like so big liao still dunno how to bring the bowl to the sink meh. Hello, here got no mariah one so cannot act like xiao jie get it. And like she doesn't even know how ter boil water! cos at home not allowed to go near the fire. oh my tian i;m gonna faint.

it's so hard living with someone. All your faults get magnified. well at least it's beginning to look better now cos i gettin to know more people so hopefully i've have some fun. i miss singapore, but not enough to go back.  ¶ 10:26 PM 0 comments